Fred Weasley vs his mother (with a little help from a friend)
by Nicknack2814
Summary: This an AU story, Fred and Hermione try to help Ginny avoid the wrath of her mother. Unfortunately, the ramifications of their actions sees them feigning a relationship for the sake of Molly Weasley. She knows it's fake, they know it's fake, the question is, who will break first? OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys. Thought I'd start posting this now since it's Halloween! Happy Halloween to all of you who celebrate it :) this will be a slow fic, so please understand that if you're going to read it and get into, I will not be updating regularly and you could go some time without new chapters. Sorry about that but I want to be honest with you all before you get really into it and I end up a useless author who disappoints you with an unfinished story for while...**

"Come on Mione, it'll be loads of fun!" Ginny whined at her frizzy haired friend who simply glared at her from behind a book.

"Gin, I really really don't want to go to your brothers' stupid Halloween party," Hermione huffed. "Please don't make me?"

"But, Harry's going to be there, and Ron's taking Luna, and half the campus are going!" Ginny sulked. "I really want to go! It could be my big night to snag Harry and get him to really notice me!"

"Gin-"

"You _know_ mum won't let me go unless you're going!" she huffed.

Molly Weasley did not trust her children an inch. She didn't trust any of their friends an inch either, all except for Hermione. For Hermione, her inability to lie (to absolutely anyone) without becoming a stammering stuttering mess was a curse, for Molly Weasley it was a gift sent from heaven. Finally, she didn't have to be the big bad parent, she just had to insist that Hermione went with them. It was this unfair clause that had forced Hermione into attending far more social events than she'd ever been interested in.

This particular Halloween party was being hosted by Fred and George Weasley, Ginny's older twin brothers. They'd dropped out of school and managed to successfully open their very own nightclub/bar/adult soft play centre. It was a strange thing that they'd created but it couldn't be more popular; all the fun from childhood smashed together with all the fun of adulthood (basically: booze). Hermione knew the Weasley family well, especially since she was the matriarch's favourite friend, even if it was only to grill the poor child on her children's debatable life choices. To be fair to her children, they never got upset with Hermione. Knowing it wasn't her fault, they did their best to keep anything bad out of her line of sight, and if that wasn't possible they coached her on how to spin it to their mother in a way that wasn't exactly a lie but probably wasn't the truth either.

"Come on Mione? Please? Just this one time?" Ginny asked again, looking forlornly at her best girlfriend.

"Just this one time?" Hermione scoffed. "Last time was 'just this one time' and so was the time before that and the time before that and the time before that-"

"Okay fine!" Ginny said, stopping her before she could continue on. "How about...oh! I have the perfect thank you, but you have to come to the party if you want it!"

"Well, what is it?" Hermione asked.

"I can't tell you," Ginny said. "But you'll love it, I promise!"

Hermione eyed the redhead suspiciously. If she was honest, she could understand why Mrs Weasley didn't trust her children one single iota. Hermione didn't trust them much either. But the eager way her best friend was looking at her gave her no real choice.

"Fine! I will go with you! But I'm not dressing up!" Hermione huffed.

"Yey! Thanks Mione, you're the best," Ginny squealed, hugging her tight before adding, "and you have to dress up otherwise you won't be allowed in. Halloween rules, sorry."

Hermione groaned and rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said. "But I get to pick what I wear and you do not get to comment, deal?"

"Deal!" Ginny grinned. "But make sure it has a mask 'cause the boys decided masquerade was sexy and now it's their theme."

"Of course they did," she muttered, cursing the twins as she went back to her book.

One week later and Hermione was stood looking at herself in the mirror and wondering what the hell was wrong with her. She was nineteen years old, headed for great academic success and yet somehow her best friend (over a year younger than her) had managed to guilt trip her into attending some wretched party. Suffice to say, Hermione was not a social butterfly. She hated parties, loud noises, crowds, places she didn't know or hadn't read about and boisterous people who loved to tease her for all those qualities (i.e the Weasley twins). There were a lot of people who'd give anything to be where Hermione was right now, to have a chance at chatting up one of those boys. They were very popular and since their business had become a booming success, they were also considered quite eligible bachelors too. Hermione looked herself up and down before shoving on a small, plain black mask. She heard a buzz and couldn't help the small smile that came to her lips, Ginny had come to pick her up and no matter how irritated she was with her friend she was always pleased to see her.

"Oh my god Hermione! You look amazing!" Ginny laughed as Hermione opened the door to her flat, having buzzed the girl up.

"Thanks Gin, you look incredible yourself," Hermione grinned. "Not that your brothers are going to like it, at all."

"What about Harry?" she asked nervously.

"Harry is likely to fanboy before asking you to marry him," Hermione said simply, causing Ginny to squeal in excitement.

Harry was Hermione's oldest friend. They'd grown up together since their parents were all best mates. Hermione found her parents to be somewhat stifling, hence why she'd moved out to her own flat. Harry, on the other hand, found his parents to be a little more liberal and opted to stay put. Harry may well have been his dad's clone if it weren't for the fact he had his mother's eyes. His personality even mirrored James', what with his penchant for mischief and his love for all things comic related.

Ginny, a dark horse in Hermione's book, was also a secret lover of the genre and had opted to go dressed as Mira, aquaman's wife. Her red hair was perfect for it, and she'd been even sneaker too. She'd also decided to go with a particular story arc, which saw Mira become a red lantern, and meant she could really geek out like never before. Harry had no idea Ginny was as into it as he was, he was going to be flawed.

Ginny was dressed in a skin-tight, bright red, body suit that hugged every inch of her figure, leaving little to the imagination. It dipped low down into her cleavage, exposing a good portion of her breasts but not so much she lost her classiness. The red lantern symbol was prominent, sewn onto the fabric just below her belly button. Ginny's red hair was wild and she wore a spiked silver crown. She carried a trident and had opted for a beautiful red and black masquerade mask. The woman was likely to make all men (she wasn't related to) drawl tonight, even if they had no idea what she was dressed as.

Hermione on the other hand had gone for simple but effective. She was the Wicked Witch of the West and had adorned a rather large black coat with puffy sleeves, a pair of thick patterned tights and some knee high black boots. She'd also covered every inch of exposed skin (so basically only her hands and face) with green face paint. She was in no mood to actually socialise tonight and she knew she'd steer clear of it with this costume. She picked up her broomstick and they set off.

Once they got to the door of the club, Hermione let out a loud groan. It was packed. The queue was the length of the building and went right around the corner. Ginny stalked past it and towards the bouncers her brothers had hired.

"I'm Ginny Weasley," she said, smiling sweetly at them. "This is my best friend Hermione Granger. We should be on the list?"

"You can come in love," the guy grinned, looking up from his clipboard. "This one will have to get in line. She's not on my board and she doesn't fit the profile for queue skipping."

"What?!" Ginny shrieked. "But she's my best friend! I told those two idiots to add her as my plus one!"

"Sorry love," the guy shrugged, "I don't know what to tell you..."

"Well, what's the profile she has to fit for queue jumping?" Ginny asked.

"Uh..." the guy stammered.

"Let me guess," Hermione said. "Probably something to do with the outfit and how much skin it reveals? Exceptions made for skin tight garments and, dare I say it, 'really fit birds'?"

"Wh..well, that's...I'm not..."

Ginny gave the guy a deadpan look and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, something like that," he nodded in defeat.

"I know it doesn't look like much," Hermione said. "But underneath this coat I'm not actually wearing much. Could you class that as sexy?"

"Can I see it?" he smirked.

"If you can tell me who I am?" she smiled.

"You're a witch," he said with a frown.

"What witch?"

"There's a name for this generic witch?" he scoffed.

"There is indeed," Hermione said.

"You realise that without a peek, you're not getting in?" the guy grinned.

"Yep," Hermione sighed. "What a loss for me, guess I'll just go home." She sighed again, overly theatrically.

"Oh no you don't!" Ginny growled. "Either flash him and get yourself in or I'll tell Ron about that time you fancied the pants off him in your sixth year."

"You wouldn't!" Hermione squeaked.

"I bloody well would!" Ginny said.

"But Gin, I really am a bit risqué underneath this!" Hermione hissed.

"You are?" Ginny smirked, eyeing her curiously.

"Well, I figured it might not hurt if I came across a guy who was willing to look past my complete lack of outside sexy and have a decent conversation with me before trying to shag me," she said.

"We'll come on then, let's see it," Ginny grinned.

"Oh fine!" Hermione huffed, undoing the belt to the coat which was basically the whole outfit. "But I'm not flashing for more than a second or two, got it? So you'd best be watching."

"Oh I'm watching," the guy winked at her and Hermione fought down a an exasperated groan as well as her embarrassment.

She quickly pulled her coat open to reveal a lacy black basque and tiny black mini shorts. The tights and the boots just added to the effect as the guy's eyes bugged out at the sight of her.

"Fuck me," Ginny murmured as Hermione hastily wrapped herself back up. The bouncer was not the only one in shock.

"I thought you wanted to fuck Harry?" Hermione said.

"Well, if Harry isn't available, I'm coming to you," Ginny said, still gaping at her best friend. "You look fucking hot under that."

"Thanks," Hermione smiled, a brilliant blush on her cheeks. She was happy she had face paint on or it would have added to her embarrassment.

"In you go ladies," the bouncer said, clearing his throat and avoiding eye contact with Hermione.

"Thank you," Ginny said, laughing at the guy as they walked through the door.

The club was heaving, the soft play area had been cornered off, admittance by breathalyser only. Hermione smiled at the ingenuity of it all. It really was like a big kid's playground in here, with alcohol to help. There was a large dance floor over to one side and another two on the second and third floors above them. The soft play also reached all three levels and there was a huge 6ft deep ball pool hidden on the ground floor of it. There was some swings, a few see-saws, a merry-go-round and a slide across the other side of room. Laser quest seemed to be a thing that was happening tonight and in no designated area at that. The bars were dotted strategically around the whole place so that there was never too much crowding at one. The boys really had outdone themselves on the design of the place.

"Come on, lets go find Fred and George," Ginny grinned.

Hermione followed her up to the third floor, knowing they'd be in the VIP area with the rest of their friends. VIP to them just meant bean bags instead of chairs, and video games. Lots and lots of video games.

Hermione spotted them pretty quickly, especially since it took all of ten seconds for Harry to zero in on Ginny. Hermione snorted at him as they waltzed up, literally having to pick his jaw up for him.

"You...you...your..." Harry stammered at Ginny in a strangled sort of voice.

"Yes, I'm Mira, Queen of Atlantis, as a red lantern," Ginny said, nodding slowly like you would to a child as Harry just stood and gaped at her.

"Dude, knock it off," Ron shoved him irritably. "That's my sister!"

"Sorry," mumbled Harry, trying and failing to take his eyes off Ginny.

"How'd you get in then Granger?" Fred asked, folding his arms and leaning against a wall.

"What d'you mean, how?" Ginny narrowed her eyes at him. "I told you she was coming, why wasn't she on the list!"

"Because we like to see what new and imaginative ways she can come up with to get herself in here," George replied.

"And if she fails we don't have to watch our sister turn up looking like she's on the pull," Fred grimaced.

"I _am_ on the pull," Ginny scoffed.

"Exactly," George said, his grimace identical to Fred's, the same as his face.

"So how'd you get in?" Fred asked.

"She flashed the bouncer," Ginny said nonchalantly.

"No seriously," George chuckled.

"Seriously, she flashed the bouncer," Ginny said, sniggering at their shocked looks.

"I didn't know Zabini had a thing for granny pants and sports bras," Fred teased.

"He doesn't," Ginny said, smirking wickedly at them.

"That sounds very interesting," George grinned, sidling up to Hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes and folded her arms, shaking her head. "Well, your sister liked it so much she asked me to fuck her..."

Ginny fell about laughing as the small group (which also comprised of Lee Jordon, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan and Neville Longbottom) either wolf-whistled, groaned or in the case of Ron, made gagging noises.

"God Gin, you really need to mind your language," George snorted.

"Is it really that good?" Fred asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Hermione.

"Well, she told me she's going to take me home if no one else is available," Hermione said.

"I'm available," Harry blurted before turning a lovely shade of red as he clapped a hand over his mouth.

The whole group went silent before laughing out loud at Harry's humiliation. Ginny stared at him in shock, she'd never heard him be so forward and especially not with her. Ron on the other hand, looked furious.

"She's my sister!" he barked.

"Oh give it up Ronnekins," George laughed.

"Just because you're too dense to have noticed them dancing around one another for the last year or so, doesn't mean the rest of us haven't," Fred said.

"What?" said Ron, Harry and Ginny collectively.

"Don't looked so shocked," Hermione said, leaning her broomstick against the wall. "We let you get there in your own time, pretty much."

"You knew he liked me?!" Ginny shrieked.

"Uh...yeah?" Hermione cringed at the amazing level of loud Ginerva could reach, even in a club like this.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" she yelled.

"Because I sort of just guessed. He never actually confirmed it," Hermione said. "And he wasn't ever going to until you showed up tonight dressed in that."

"What? Why?" Ginny frowned, looking at a very mortified Harry.

"I would imagine it has something to do with knowing you since you were eleven, and being his best mate's little sister, and feeling like he really shouldn't see you in any light that isn't platonic," Hermione said. "Unfortunately for Harry, but very fortunately for you, your current state of dress doesn't let anyone you're not related to see you as anything but hot, sexy and down right shaggable." She grinned wickedly before looking at the rest of the men in the group (without the surname Weasley). "Just ask those lot..."

Ginny turned to face them all before blushing a bright red, seeing as how they were all trying so hard not to look longingly and lustfully at her. Neville was refusing to look at her at all, his self-control a little more gentlemanly than the others.

"Harry," Fred said, seeing exactly what Hermione was getting at, "do me a favour and make my sister unavailable or I'll be forced to do unspeakable things to you since it's your fault she turned up in that outfit."

"Wh, um, I don't...I'm not sure..." Harry stuttered, shifting nervously from foot to foot and wishing the ground would open up and swallow him.

Ginny came to stand directly in front of him, accidentally on purpose putting her perfectly exposed cleavage right in his line of sight. "My eyes are up here Potter," she teased, grinning at him as he quickly flicked them up to look at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" He cut himself off as Ginny giggled, thinking him quite cute when he was flustered. "You did that on purpose!"

"Yeah, I did," she said. "Much like how I did this on purpose." She gestured to her costume and smirked at him as his eyes traveled down her body and reluctantly back up it to rest on her eyes again. "I have to admit, I didn't think the reaction would be so intense."

"You dressed as an obscure female comic book character in an even more obscure outfit," Harry said. "How exactly did you expect me to react?"

"I just wanted you to notice me," Ginny mumbled.

"Gin, you're pretty hard not to notice," he smiled.

"I've fancied you for years," she confessed, her cheeks flaming and her heart hammering.

Harry didn't say anything, instead he leant in and kissed her. Ginny wound her arms around his neck, smiling at the claps she could hear from their friends and giving the finger to whoever happened to be the one making retching noises (it was Fred).

Harry sighed as he pulled away, nuzzling her nose with his and unable to keep a goofy grin of his face. "I've been wanting to do that for too long."

"I suddenly feel very self-conscious," Ginny murmured. "Seducing you didn't take nearly as long as I expected it to."

"Sorry about that, I'll try and hold out longer next time," he laughed.

Ginny kissed him softly again and smiled.

"Dance with me?" Harry asked.

"Sure thing," Ginny giggled.

Hermione groaned and pulled out a chair.

"Can I take your coat madam?" Fred asked.

"Nice try Weasley," she said, plonking herself down in the seat.

"It was worth a shot," Fred shrugged.

As the night got underway, Hermione found herself pretty much alone at the table. Every now and again she would go and find a bar to buy a drink and then head back to her seat. She occasionally caught a glimpse of Ginny and Harry, now stuck together like glue. Fred and George would catch her sight every now and again, usually surrounded by a gaggle of girls. Ron was wrapped up in Luna, having eyes only for her and Hermione thanked the heavens she'd got over him fairly quickly in her sixth year. She sighed and looked at her phone, it was only half ten. She hadn't even been here an hour and already she was fed up and wanted to go home. It was times like these she really considered herself to be a bit of a bore and wished she could let loose and have a bit more fun. Just as she'd set herself up for a night on the sidelines, Ginny appeared back at the table with Harry trailing behind her.

"Hermione! My god, I'm so sorry!" she spluttered, out of breath from climbing two flights of stairs. "I totally forgot!"

"Forgot what?" Hermione asked, frowning at the redhead as she yanked Hermione up from her seat and dragged her back down the stairs.

Ginny pulled her best friend through the crowd and towards her twin brothers, both of which were wrapped up in the attention of more than one woman. She shoved herself and then Harry and Hermione, through the adoring crowd and smacked both boys' legs with her hands to get their attention.

"Hey, you two," she called, giving them a far-too-innocent smile as they turned to glare at her. "Can I get the key to the flat please?"

"You are _not_ going to shag your new boyfriend at our place," George grimaced.

"It's not for me!" Ginny said, her cheeks a dark red again as she avoided Harry's eye. "It's for Mione."

"You are _not_ shagging Granger at our place," Fred sniggered.

"Fred!" Ginny stomped her foot. "Come on, you know how much she hates these sorts of things and I promised her an awesome thank you for turning up tonight. You know I wouldn't have been allowed to come if she wasn't here."

"What does access to our flat have to do with thanking Hermione for coming with you?" Fred frowned.

"Well, she'll technically still be in the building but she can relax and read a book, enjoy herself properly..." Ginny said.

"It's our home, why would you offer your friend our home?" George huffed.

"She didn't," Hermione piped up. "I didn't realise this was her idea of the best thank you."

"It's perfect," Ginny huffed. "You don't have to party and you don't have to lie to my mum _and_ I get to have a good time."

Fred looked at George and George looked at Fred. They both glanced quickly at Hermione who did in fact look nothing short of miserable. After a ten second silent conversation they turned back to Ginny.

"Fine," Fred said, "you can have the keys. It's not like we were coming back alone tonight anyway. Half the gang are stopping over, and who knows who else..." He glanced down at the nearest girl and winked at her, causing her to descend into schoolgirl giggles.

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. "You really don't have to, I'll be perfectly fine back in VIP," she said.

"I don't mind Granger," Fred said, rummaging around in his pocket as he pulled his keys out. "Think fast," he chuckled, throwing them at her quickly. Hermione caught them like a pro and he grinned at her. "Never could rile you up Granger."

"Maybe you just weren't trying hard enough Weasley," she countered.

"Touché. Anyway," he said, clearing his throat and looking up at her. "Do me a favour when you get up there and take a shower or something? The last thing I need is to find green paint everywhere and we all know you'll fall asleep on our beautiful white couch at some point tonight."

The girl beside him sniggered, leaning into him and throwing Hermione a haughty look. She was supposed to be a black cat, except she wasn't wearing much past the ears, the compulsory mask and a painted on black nose and whiskers. "It's not even midnight," she tittered. "And what are you even supposed to be?"

"She's the Wild Witch of the West," Fred said, immediately untangling himself from the black cat and getting to his feet. "I'll walk you up if you like, I've just remembered we installed a new security system last week and there's a pass code for the alarms and everything."

"Honestly, you really don't have to," Hermione said. "I can manage. Just whisper it in my ear or something, you know I'm good with numbers."

Fred chuckled and shook his head.

"Seriously Fred, you're having a good time," she said, gesturing to the black cat and her friends that were now glaring daggers at her. "Stay," she urged, not wanting to be the reason he missed out on all the fun.

"Yeah, stay Freddie," the black cat whined in a tone that was supposed to be sultry but came out kind of whiny. "Come sit back down with us..." They giggled as the cat patted his empty seat and pouted at him.

"Maybe in a bit," Fred said. "I'm just going to show my friend up to my flat."

"But she said she'd be fine without you," a French maid whined.

"And I really will be," Hermione nodded, eager to get out and away from the small group of girls that were making her feel about as big as a four year old.

"I'm coming with you Granger," Fred said firmly.

"Fred-"

"Come on," he said, taking her hand and pulling her back through the crowd. Hermione certainly didn't miss the gabbling of irritated women as Fred led her upstairs to the flat that adjoined their club.

"Fred, why did you come with me? You know perfectly well I'd have been fine on my own," Hermione said, partially huffing because of the pace he'd dragged her up the stairs.

"Well, would you believe me if I said it was because you were a good friend and it is my duty as your gracious host?" he asked charmingly.

"No," she said flatly.

"Would you believe me if I said it was because, while you are more trustworthy than all our friends combined, I still don't trust you with the security code to our flat?" Fred grinned.

"Well, I'd say that's more believable," she said, mirth in her eyes. "You're getting warmer."

"I want to make sure you knew I was being serious about that shower?" he said. "I really don't want green paint everywhere."

"I'll take a bloody shower Fred!" she huffed in good nature. "But it'll cost you a shirt, because I'm not putting this back on after." She gestured to herself and grinned.

"Deal," he said. "So, you believe me? That it was the shower thing?"

Hermione laughed and shook her head, watching him unlock the door and enter the code to deactivate the alarm. She walked through the door and turned to face him. "Not on your life," she said. "You walked me up here because you wanted to see if I'd show you what was under my coat, you big perv."

"Hey! I resent that! I'm not a perv I just happen to know that Ginny and I have similar, high quality, tastes in women," he said. "You know, when she's looking at women."

"You found Marietta Edgecombe attractive?" Hermione frowned.

"Uh no," Fred said. "Me and Gin both agreed that Marietta was a fluke on her part. I did not find her attractive and to be fair, neither did Gin after the first few months."

"Fred, you're not seeing what's under my coat," Hermione said.

"No fair!" He huffed and stomped his feet as though he was eight again. He looked up at Hermione with enormous eyes and a great big pout which caused the girl to collapse into giggles.

"Night Fred, see you and have a good evening," she chuckled in a sing-songy way.

"Night Granger," he grumbled, heading for the door.

In a feat of boldness and daring, and being someone who always wanted the last laugh, Hermione found herself calling out Fred's name as he reached the door.

"Yeah?" he turned back, glancing quickly at her.

"Which one is your room? So I know whose shirt I actually asked to pinch?"

"My room is on the left," Fred said. "Bathroom is the door right next to you."

"Thanks Fred," she said.

"Anything else I can do for you while I'm here?" he asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"No thanks, I think I'm good from here on out." Hermione grinned wickedly as she undid her coat and let it drop to the floor before waltzing through the bathroom door and leaving behind a stunned Fred.

Hermione sighed as she stepped into the shower, giggling at the full five minutes it took for Fred to leave the flat after she'd taken off her coat. She smiled as the green paint ran off her face and hands and snaked it's way down the drain. She felt so much better as the hot water slightly scolded her skin in the most glorious way. She stayed under the water for what felt like an age before shutting the shower off and stepping out. She reached for the towel she'd pinched out of the cupboard, wrapping it around her body and smiling at how warm it was since she'd placed it on the heated towel rail. Hermione scooped up her clothes and padded across the hallway to Fred's bedroom, throwing her garments in a pile behind the door. She grabbed her knickers and shimmied into them before wondering over to his draws and trying to find a clean t-shirt she could wear for now. She rummaged around a bit, surprised and impressed at how clean and tidy he seemed to be. She plucked a shirt from a draw and threw it on the bed. Drying the rest of her body off, she flipped the towel over her hair and twisted it up. She pulled the shirt on over her head and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking around the room.

Fred had a small bookshelf in the corner and she decided a nice hot drink and a book would do her well. She padded her way to the kitchen and found a mug and some hot chocolate. Fixing her drink she turned to the lounge area, eyeing up the seats and trying to decide which was the comfiest. Finally she gave in and went back into Fred's room instead, his bed had looked far better. She knew he wouldn't mind her snuggling down in it and subsequently falling asleep; she didn't much want to relax on the sofa knowing she'd fall asleep there instead and she wasn't exactly dressed in the most proper of nightwear. Knowing her luck, the twins and their friends would all come in to find Hermione with her bum in the air and her knickers on show, and she couldn't chance that.

Hermione settled into bed with her hot chocolate and a book. She'd chosen the one off the shelf that looked the most worn, since it meant that Fred would have read it a lot and so it was probably pretty good. It was also one she hadn't heard of before, which didn't happen often for her. Several chapters in and a whole hot chocolate down, Hermione fell asleep with the book propped open on her lap. Fred stumbled into the room at three am, smiling softly at the now clean witch. He hadn't expected her to still be here, thinking Ginny would have come to pick her up on her way out. Fred took the book out of her hand and placed it on his bedside table. He took a pillow from the other side of the bed and grabbed whatever spare blankets they had left, setting them up on the floor beside the bed. He was drunk and tired, not enough to forget how to be a gentleman but definitely not enough to forget exactly what Hermione had looked like under that coat. Suffice to say, he did not trust himself in a bed with her. At least not right now.

About an hour later, Hermione woke to the sound of thrashing arms and legs trapped underneath blankets. She heard broken whimpers followed by a scared little shout. She sat up and crawled across the bed to where the noise was coming from. Fred was breathing hard from his makeshift bed on the floor, his eyes screwed up tight and his body trembling. Hermione scooted quickly off the bed to sit beside him, running her fingers softly through his hair in an attempt to calm his still sleeping form. Her own eyes drooped as she felt the edges of her sleep trying to grasp at her again.

"Granger?" Fred groaned, a hand coming to rest on her leg as though to test if she was real.

"Mmhmm," Hermione hummed.

Fred simply stared sleepily up at her, his breathing calm again and a small smile replacing the deep frown he'd worn only moments ago.

"Come on," Hermione whispered, slowly getting up and crawling back into bed. She'd snagged Fred's hand as she went and pulled him up with her. She settled back on her pillow, sleep taking her once again as she snuggled Fred in beside her. His arms automatically wrapped themselves around her as though she was a teddy bear and their legs tangled together like it was the norm. Both of them fell back to sleep without much thought, Hermione resting her head atop Fred's as he nestled himself into her chest. Her fingers subconsciously raked softly through his hair as their breathing evened out and they slept peacefully again.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm really sorry to do this, especially because I swore I'd never post a story I wasn't prepared to finish, but this one is officially on hiatus. I'm going to post what I've already written for it, but I have other stories that I'm getting further with and have more ideas and enthusiasm for, and I feel like I can't start posting them without updating or explaining what's going on with this one. Please enjoy the last written bit...**

Hermione slowly opened her eyes. There was a weight on her chest much heavier than Crookshanks and that also seemed to descend much further than the normal size of a cat. She looked around the room, trying to remember where she was and what had happened the night before. Since she hadn't drunk much alcohol and had gone to bed relatively early, her memories were not hard to find. What was hard to find, however, was an explanation as to why she had another body in the bed with her when she remembered being completely alone last night. She glanced down to see a shock of red hair and the peacefully sleepy face of one Fred Weasley. She wriggled slightly, a deep blush crawling up her neck and settling on her cheeks as she realised just how entangled they'd become. Fred shifted, his arms tightening around her as he began to slowly wake up. He yawned and blinked, shuffling his head a little so he could look up at the bushy haired bookworm he was snuggled into.

"Morning Granger," he smiled sleepily.

"M,morning Fred," Hermione mumbled, her brows drawn and a small look of panic in her eyes.

Fred chuckled, releasing his hold on her and rolling onto his back. He pushed the quilt down his torso and stretched out the arm that wasn't still resting under Hermione. She gulped and quickly averted her eyes, Fred apparently still kept up with the fitness regime he'd had in school when he played on the football team.

"You don't remember what happened last night, do you?" he grinned.

"Uh..." Hermione flicked her eyes to his before looking back at her hands, playing with the covers while trying to find a reasonable explanation in her sleep fuddled brain.

"You're making it really hard for me to wind you up Granger," Fred said softly. Hermione's eyes snapped to his. "I had a nightmare," he said.

"You had a nightmare?" Hermione frowned.

"I still get them every now and again," he sighed. "They're flashbacks from the car accident when I was twenty."

"Oh," she said.

"I obviously woke you up, because the next thing I knew, the nightmare had gone away and you were sat next to me with your fingers in my hair and falling asleep with your head on your hand," he said. "You dragged me back into bed with you and, well, you woke up to the rest."

"Sorry," Hermione mumbled in embarrassment. "I always forget if I've woken up in the night, and I didn't mean to force you into the bed. I suppose in my sleepy state I figured I could help you at the same time as getting back to sleep myself."

"Don't be sorry Granger, you did," he said. "To be honest I wasn't sure if I was dreaming to start with. And if you hadn't helped me I'd have woken up the whole house screaming, which would have been very embarrassing."

"Well, okay then," Hermione said, feeling very awkward at this point.

Fred snorted at her obvious discomfort. The arm still underneath her twisted to pinch her hip and she jumped in shock.

"Fred!" she squealed.

"Yes my dear?" he laughed, rolling back over and snuggling into her again.

"Fred!" Hermione flushed, her arms coming to rest on his shoulders as his head lay back between her breasts.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"What are you doing?" she squeaked.

"Well, you make such a lovely, cuddly, squishy teddy bear that I thought I'd make the most of it before you run away and avoid me for the next three months out of some misplaced embarrassment," he said.

"Fred..." Hermione growled, irritated that he knew her so well.

"Yes bear?" he smiled.

Hermione growled again and reached around for his pillow, picking it up and triumphantly smacking his head with it.

"Oi! What was that for?!" he cried, letting her go and pulling her own pillow from behind her head. He'd got one hit in before she'd jumped up and was on her knees, beating the daylights out of him with his favourite pillow. Fred had to admit that the sight of Hermione Granger in his oversized t-shirt, one shoulder exposed, legs curled up behind her and hair the wildest he'd ever seen, was probably one of the sexiest things he'd ever witnessed. He was momentarily struck by her beauty, and the fire in her eyes as she laughed only added to that. Shaking himself out of it quickly, he lunged at her and tackled her back down onto the bed, successfully taking her weapon away. No sooner had he straddled her and flung the pillow across the room, George opened the door.

"Mate, seriously, you're going to wake the whole flat up in a minute," his brother groaned. "I didn't even realise you'd brought a bird back with you."

"She didn't come back with me, she was already waiting for me when we got home," Fred sniggered at Hermione's bright red face. He climbed off her and pulled her up to face George. She glared at the grinning ginger while his brother gaped at them in shock.

"Granger?!" George cried in a strangled sort of tone.

"Morning George," Hermione said brightly, her angry gaze falling away to greet him.

"Uh..." George wasn't sure what to say.

"You alright there Georgie?" Fred snickered.

"Why is Granger in your bed? I'm trying not to jump to any conclusions, but after the laughing I heard coming from this room just now, I'm having trouble," he said.

"Well, we slept together," Fred said, trying to keep a straight face and wind Hermione up.

"And technically, he did bring me back here, he just left me in preparation for his return," Hermione said, looking innocently at Fred whose jaw had dropped.

George snickered and grinned at her. "Nice one Granger, his face was a picture," he laughed.

"What was that?" Fred asked.

"Well, you wanted to play so I merely played along," she said sweetly. "Just be grateful that it was your brother and not someone who doesn't know me well enough to forgo questioning whether I was serious or not."

"How'd you know she was messing around?" Fred asked, sending a sulky glance her way.

"She wouldn't have been nearly as aloof if you'd really meant what you said," George laughed. "She can't lie, remember. She'd only have been that confident if she knew she could argue her case."

"Fair point," Fred conceded.

"Well, now we're awake, I'm going to go make coffee and grab something to eat," Hermione said, sliding off the bed and towards the door.

George gaped at her as he took in her tousled appearance and blushing cheeks. "Bloody hell Granger, if my brother had been shagging you, I can see why..."

Hermione looked down at herself in shock and confusion as Fred launched a pillow at George's head. "Don't be such a git Georgie," he said, smirking as George caught the pillow.

"Sorry," George grinned at Hermione, stepping away from the door and allowing her to pass.

"Did you want coffee?" she asked as she slipped by him, choosing to ignore his previous statement and apology in favour of normal and mostly non-traumatic conversation.

"Nah, I'm gonna get back to the girl _I_ brought home," he grinned and winked at the pair before scooting off back to his own room.

Hermione shook her head softly at the man, padding down the hallway to the kitchen. She began pottering around, grabbing mugs from the cupboard and making the coffee. She turned to get the milk from the fridge and let out a startled yelp. Four pairs of eyes were staring back at her in shock. Fred, followed by a now irritable George, came stalking down the hallway to see what the upset was.

"What's up?" Fred frowned, looking between Hermione and the small group ogling her.

"Hermione?" Angelina asked.

"Hi," Hermione squeaked, tugging at the bottom of Fred's shirt and feeling entirely too exposed. She knew Fred and George really well, she did not know their friends to the same extent, and she'd forgotten they were all staying the night too.

"Why are you wearing Fred's shirt?" Alicia frowned.

"And nothing else," Katie added.

"I made her take a shower when she came up, I didn't want all that green paint she was wearing all over the sofa," Fred said. "She didn't want to put that huge coat back on so I leant her the shirt."

"But she wasn't on the sofa when we got back," Lee said, confused about what he was missing and more distracted by the sight of Hermione and her gorgeous legs.

Fred picked up a dry tea bag and threw it at him. "Stop staring mate," he sniggered.

"She slept in Fred's bed," George supplied.

"With Fred?!" the girls chorused.

"I don't actually know," George smirked. "I never asked and I never saw where he was when he woke up."

"On the floor," Fred growled.

"I didn't want to be in the way when everyone got back," Hermione said quietly.

"Where did Fred sleep, Hermione?" Katie grinned, knowing about Hermione's curse.

"He slept on the floor!" Hermione stammered, trying to remember what the twins had said about how it was okay because it was the truth even if it wasn't the whole truth.

"You're sure about that?" Angelina chuckled.

"Yes!" Hermione cried. "I have no idea what time he got back, but when I woke up, he was on the floor." Which was the truth at four am, when she did wake up.

"So he slept on the floor," George said. He paused for effect before catching Hermione's eye. "All night?"

"I hate you George Weasley," she snarled, picking up a teaspoon and lobbing it at his head.

The girls all gaped at her in shock, Lee wiggled his eyebrows at Fred, Fred glared at George and Hermione just wanted the ground to swallow her. Before anything could get more awkward, a voice filled the apartment.

"Madday madday, your mother is on her way up. I really hope your sister and her best mate are with you 'cause I think she might implode if they're not," Verity shrieked through the tannoy.

Fred, George and Hermione all looked in shock at one another.

"Where's Gin?" Hermione asked in panic. "Please tell me she came back with you two? Please?!"

"Ginny went home with Harry," Angelina said.

"She what?!" Hermione shrieked. "Oh my god, what are we going to do?! I can't face your mother! She'll interrogate me and then Gin will hate me for the rest of my life!"

"Gin won't hate you," Fred said. "She'll be pissed as hell but she'll know it was her own fault."

"But Fred this is a huge thing," Hermione cried. "Your mother isn't going to stop once I tell her I don't know where Ginny is! She'll be so angry she'll just keep going and I'll be so wound up and panicky that I'll let everything slip, _everything_."

"What is everything?" Fred asked.

"There's a girl in George's room, Ron and Luna slept together, Ginny turned up in a rather promiscuous costume, I flashed the fucking bouncer... _and you_. Harry couldn't keep his hands off your sister, you and George probably could have had an orgy if you'd wanted one-"

"Okay I get the picture!" Fred cut her off before she could go any further.

Verity's voice was back on the tannoy. "T minus thirty seconds guys."

"Damn it!" Hermione cried.

"We need to distract her from the fact that Harry and Ginny aren't here," George said quickly. "Shock her into forgetting why she's here."

"How do we do that?" Hermione asked.

"Go and get back into bed," George said. "With Fred."

"What?!" several people cried at once.

"It was enough to stop the lot of us in our tracks," George argued. "Do you have a better idea?"

Fred and Hermione looked at George before looking at each other and then around the room. No one had a better idea.

"Gin is going to owe me big time," Fred growled, snatching Hermione's hand and dragging her back to his bedroom.

"I'll text Gin, try and get her over here and make it look like they were out for coffee or something," George said, retreating back towards his room for his phone. "One of you can open the door but make sure it's after a few knocks and as though you've just been disturbed from your sleep."

Fred pulled Hermione through the bedroom door and towards the bed.

"Fred, I don't know about this," she said. "Your mum isn't going to see us sleeping in the same bed and not jump to a hundred different conclusions..."

"That's kind of the point," Fred said. "Hopefully we can skate around what's really going on by answering all her questions as vaguely as possible."

Hermione squeaked as he turned back to her, picked her up bridal style and deposited her on his bed.

"My god you're a lot stronger than you look," she grumbled.

Fred scoffed. "Not really, you're just a lot lighter than you think you are."

Hermione smiled at that, it was sweet of him. She'd had a problem with her weight and her self confidence for years, being a girl who had curves but wasn't actually fat apparently didn't make much of a difference when it came to kids and their taunting. You were either a stick insect or a whale, there was no in between; everyone was either too thin or too fat.

Hermione had only just shuffled under the covers when she heard the first knock from Molly Weasley. It was loud and ominous and she felt her pulse race. Fred wound an arm around her waist and pulled her towards him, her back flush with his chest. He tangled their legs back together and quickly shoved his other arm under her head, effectively spooning her.

"Close your eyes," Fred whispered in her ear. She couldn't help the shiver that slipped down her spine at the sound of his voice so close.

Hermione snapped her eyes shut and tried to concentrate on her breathing, making it look like she was asleep. It didn't help that every time she breathed in, she could feel the weight of Fred's hand splayed out across her stomach or the way her back pushed that little bit further into him. Her panic about Mrs Weasley's impending interrogation began to subside and instead was replaced by a panic of another kind; realising how reactive her body was to Fred's. Her skin was buzzing, her tummy fluttering at his touch. She kept her eyes closed and tried to calmly breathe through the sensations.

"Where is my daughter?!" Mrs Weasley bellowed at the poor sole who'd been the one unfortunate enough to open the door. The girls had obviously all voted for Lee to do the honours.

"Uh, um, well, I don't..." Lee stammered, too hungover to pull himself to together.

"I'm sorry Lee, dear," Molly sighed, pulling the boy into a quick hug. "I'm just so worried. The girls always call when they get home! I've been up all night! Do you have any idea where they could be?!"

Lee breathed out a sigh of relief as George appeared behind him. "Mum? Everything alright?"

"Georgie!" Molly wailed. "I can't find Ginny! Or Hermione! I don't know where they are and what's happened to them!"

"It's okay mum, they stayed here," George said, leading his mother into the kitchen.

"I thought she was supposed to be some sort of fire breathing dragon? The way her kids go on about her and the panic on Hermione's face?" Angelina frowned.

"Well, she can be," Lee said, flopping back down on the sofa bed. "But she's usually just really good at guilt tripping them all into telling the truth."

"So it's not just Hermione who crumbles then?" Alicia asked.

"The twins, Ron and Gin are all immune to her ways now," Lee chuckled. "They've grown up with it. Hermione can't lie to anyone, and I mean anyone. So therefore she's not only the fastest to crumble but the most honest when she does."

"Hermione can't lie to anyone?" Alicia said. "Well, this little plan isn't going to work then, is it?" she mumbled.

"Don't be so sure, the twins have had a less than stellar influence on dear little Hermione," Lee scoffed.

Molly Weasley wiped her eyes on the paper towel George had given her. He made her a cup of tea and placed it on the table. If Gin didn't get her butt down here now, they were all in for it.

"So, where are they then? If they're here?" Molly asked. "I didn't see them in the sea of bodies on your front room floor..."

"I'm not sure to be honest, but they were here when we all came up from the club," George said. "I'm sure they're around somewhere."

"George, don't play games with me," Molly said, eyeing him warningly. "Are they here or not?"

"Mum, I promise they were here when I went to bed," George said. "But I was one of the first to go to bed so I don't know where they slept..."

"What about Fred?" Molly asked.

"What about him?"

"What time did he go to bed?" she said.

"Well, uh..." George purposefully tripped over his words and mock fled after his mother as she made her way to Fred's room. "Mum!" he cried, stepping in front of Fred's bedroom door and looking guiltily at the woman. His performance was truly noteworthy.

"George Fabian Weasley, you get out of my way this instant!" Molly hissed. "Your sister and her best friend are missing, I don't care what he's doing in there, he can damn well help find them!"

George nodded sullenly before backing away from the door. Molly knocked twice before opening it and stepping through, taking a minute to adjust to what she was seeing.

Fred yawned and stretched, one arm still wrapped around Hermione who'd chosen to stay 'sleeping'. The truth was she was still trying to calm her ever aroused body, paying too much attention to that and not enough to what was happening around her.

"Fredrick Gideon Weasley! Explain yourself!" Molly boomed, shocking Hermione out of her fake slumber and causing her to squeal as she sat bolt upright in the bed.

Fred looked wide eyed at his mother. "Mum? What're you doing here?" he asked lamely.

"I'm looking for your little sister and her best friend," Molly growled. "Neither of which messaged me to say they were somewhere safe last night!" She glared at Hermione who had the decency to look ashamed.

"Oh no! I'm sorry Mrs Weasley, my phone died," Hermione mumbled.

"And Ginny's?" she asked.

"I, I didn't think," Hermione said.

Molly blew out a large breath through her nose and put her hands on her hips, eyeing her son and the disheveled look he shared with the girl in his bed. "What's going on here then?"

"I should think that was pretty obvious mum," Fred huffed.

"I'm not talking to you," Molly said. "Hermione, what happened?"

"Well, I wasn't really feeling too good when we got to the club last night so Fred gave me the key to the flat, that way I was still around and could keep an eye on Gin without spoiling her fun or dragging her home," the girl explained. "So I came back here and fell asleep in Fred's bed, and when he came back with the rest of them...uh..." Hermione turned a lovely shade of red, because although she hadn't had sex with Fred, they'd still woken up wrapped around each other.

"You left your girlfriend alone while she was unwell," Molly rounded on her son.

"Girlfriend?" Fred frowned.

"Don't you dare tell me that the half dressed woman in your bed, that you were wrapped around, is not your girlfriend," Molly said ferociously. "Because if that's the case, I am truly disappointed in the pair of you. And I will be having words with your parents Hermione."

At this, Hermione's eyes grew very large and filled with tears. "No! Please! You can't tell my parents any of this!" she wailed, crawling out from the covers to shake pleading hands at the woman.

"We'll see you at Sunday dinner then?" she asked.

"Yes mum," Fred said, glaring at the woman agitatedly.

"Good," Molly beamed. "I'm so happy one of my troublemakers finally has a good, stable girlfriend!" she squealed.

Hermione just gaped at the woman and looked at Fred. That was not what she'd been expecting to happen, not at all.

"I can't come on Sunday, it's fireworks and me and my family always go and watch them together up on the peer," Hermione mumbled in shock.

"Oh, well, okay then dear," Molly said. "I suppose I can let it slide this once. I'll expect you the Sunday after, instead."

"Okay," Hermione said with a small nod.

"And obviously Fred will be going to the fireworks with you, so I'll let him off too," Molly said, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Oh! Right! Yes, well, um..." Hermione stammered.

"Thanks mum, that's awesome," Fred said.

"Well, I know the Grangers will want to meet you properly and what better time than fireworks night," she said. "Meeting your girlfriend's parents is a big deal Fred. You have to get the time and place just right."

"Well, I'll let mum and dad know I'll be bringing an extra one," Hermione chuckled humourlessly before turning to Fred with wide eyes.

"Mum, can you give us a minute to wake up?" Fred grumbled.

"Of course dear," Molly smiled. "I'll start on breakfast for all of you. It can be my apology for completely overreacting and waking you all up stupidly early."

"Thanks mum!" George grinned.

The door shut behind the Weasley matriarch and the rest of the group that had bundled down the hall to watch the show. Fred turned to Hermione, a forlorn look on his face.

"How bad would it be if your parents found out that we slept in the same bed last night? If we actually told them the truth about what happened?" Fred asked.

"Uh, well, my father would bury you for sleeping in the same _room_ as me. My mother would look at me as though I'd killed someone and neither of them would really talk to me for about nine whole months when they'd know for sure you didn't get me pregnant. And they'd probably force me to move back home," she said softly.

"Because you slept in the same bed as a friend?" Fred asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Because I slept in the same bed as a man I wasn't dating," Hermione said.

"I thought you said your parents and Harry's were like the best of friends?" Fred frowned.

"They have very different views on parenting," she huffed. "It's about the only thing they really argue over."

"So, how would you like to be my new girlfriend for a while?" Fred said. "Until this all blows over and then we can break up?"

"You don't have to do that Fred," Hermione smiled.

"Oh but I do," he said. "You tried to tell me it was a bad idea, fooling my mum. And it was. She knows we're lying, but she's trying to force us into confessing and I am not going to lose that one, if you're game that is?"

"She knows?" Hermione gaped.

"Yeah, I'm sure of it," Fred said. "She's trying to prove a point, that lying is bad and will get you into sticky situations."

"She's not bloody wrong," Hermione growled.

"Yeah, and she's not always bloody right either," Fred said. "But she'll think she is if we don't pull this off."

"But if she knows we aren't really dating, and if we come clean, will she really be as upset as she makes out? Maybe she won't tell my parents," Hermione suggested.

"Nope, sorry Granger, my folks are as traditional as yours, just not as strict on enforcing it," Fred said.

"Damn it," she sighed.

"So, girlfriend boyfriend?" he asked again.

"I don't see that we have a choice," she grumbled.

"Don't be like that bear, it could be a lot of fun," Fred teased. "What will our kids say when they find out that mummy didn't think she had a choice when it came to dating daddy?"

"I'm not the commitment-phobe here Fred. Repeat that sentence to yourself and try not to freak out," she snickered, watching him pull a funny face.

"I'm not afraid of commitment, I just haven't found the right woman to commit to yet," he huffed.

"And I'm sure after the long line of beautiful women you've had and could still have, everyone is going to believe it's me you've only got eyes for?" she scoffed.

Fred looked at her with his eyebrows raised, his gaze travelling across her face and down her body. She shifted under his heated stare, not sure what point he was trying to prove. "You sell yourself way too short Granger," he murmured, his eyes coming to rest back on hers. "Besides, I don't care who believes it. It's not up to anyone but me who I date."

"But what about all the fun you'll miss out on? All the girls and the sex and stuff?" she said, blushing as she reached the last bit.

"You mean we can't have sex?!" Fred looked aghast for a second before smirking at her and throwing a pillow in her face. "I don't really care about it all that much. It's been fun but to tell you the truth, I'm pretty tired with it all now."

"Fred Weasley, tired of all the sex?" Hermione teased. "Never thought I'd see the day. The gossip rags will have a field day!"

Fred chuckled, leaning back on his elbows and shaking his head. "Not tired of the sex, you dolt. I'm tired of never knowing why a girl is with me..."

Hermione looked down at him and saw an immense amount of vulnerability in his eyes, the like she'd never seen before on his face. She watched as he flicked his eyes awkwardly up to hers and away again, sighing uneasily.

"It sounds stupid, I know," he said softly.

"It sounds perfectly reasonable," she said.

"It does?"

"Of course it does," Hermione said. "I mean, you think back to school, before you were successful business men and were just idiot pranksters and there weren't half as many girls interested in you as they are now. Sure you were popular and had your fair share of attention but you knew it was because they liked you for you, not for the money or the fame or the fortune."

"I don't know how to tell the difference anymore," he confessed.

"That's easy," Hermione scoffed. "Give a girl you."

"What?" he said, frowning at her amusedly.

"Give a girl you," she said again. "Don't try to impress her with how much you can spend. Do what comes natural to you, go to places you love and be conservative. That'll get rid of quite a few of the gold diggers, at least."

"Well, after they're gone how do I tell if a girl is with me because I'm sort of famous? Or how do I tell if she's just really bloody stubborn? Or if she just wants to get close to my brother? Or wants a story? Or, you know, just likes who I am?" He groaned and flopped back onto the bed. "It's just so impossible."

Hermione chuckled and lay down beside him on her stomach. She smiled as she caught his eye. "It's not impossible," she said. "You just have to find a girl you can sit in silence with for more than ten minutes without feeling like an idiot or the most awkward person in the world."

"What?" Fred laughed.

"Well, once you've established a real relationship and you've talked about yourselves and got to really know one another, what else is there?" she said.

"Sex?"

"Apart from the sex!" Hermione huffed playfully, rolling her eyes at the man-child. "I'm serious, though. After all the talking is done, can you sit in comfortable silence with the girl, not feeling the need to fill it with words or noise or sounds? I'm not saying you'll never talk again, I'm just saying, if you don't think you can sit in silence with her for more than ten minutes, she's probably not the one."

"Your insight is priceless," Fred said. "I'll keep it in mind for the bird that comes after you."

"There is also another way, you know?" Hermione smirked at him. "A very obvious way."

"Really? And what would that be?" Fred asked.

"Uh, she's probably into you, and not the superficial stuff, if she's at least trying to tell you and George apart," Hermione said. "If she's not bothering or not caring, chances are, you're not onto a winner."

"Again, stellar advice from Hermione Granger!" Fred laughed. "They didn't call you the brightest girl in school for no reason, did they?"

"They didn't call me the brightest girl in school at all," she scoffed. "They called me a whole lot of other stuff, including a boffin, a nerd, a geek and a bookworm. But I'm pretty sure none of them were meant in a good way."

"I meant it in a good way," Fred grinned.

"I know," she smiled.

Fred and Hermione made their way to the kitchen, Fred had leant her a pair of pyjama bottoms so she felt a bit more comfortable around everyone. A few minutes later and the pair of them along with the rest of the flat (bar the mystery girl in George's room) were sat in awkward silence around the table, eating Molly Weasley's hearty breakfast and all in varying states of hungover.

"Oh I'm so excited!" Molly grinned as Fred and Hermione sat down beside one another. "It's just lovely, the two of you getting together."

"Mmmm," Fred replied, both he and Hermione shovelling food into their mouths so they wouldn't have to talk.

"It really is wonderful, isn't mum?" George smiled widely, obviously relishing in their predicament.

"It is George!" Molly cried. "I was beginning to think neither of you were going to settle down!"

"We're only twenty bloody four!" Fred huffed.

"And half your brothers were married by then," Molly snapped.

"Mum, I have five brothers, only two of which are married," Fred said.

"Bill was twenty three when he got married, and Percy was twenty two," Molly said proudly.

"We know, we were there," Fred huffed. "Hurray for Bill and Percy."

"Fredrick! Watch your tone!" Molly glared at her son. "And it's not just marriage, Charlie has been in a long term relationship since he was twenty. Even Ron and Luna have been together for years!"

"So! Just because they found the love of their lives before they were my age, doesn't mean I should!" Fred cried.

"Fred, I know you're perfectly happy being single and that is fine by me-"

"- _was_ mum. I _was_ perfectly happy being single," he muttered. "I've got Hermione now, which actually makes me more than perfectly happy." He smiled adoringly at her and it was all she could do not to choke. The man was a bloody good performer, just like his twin. He'd have to give her lessons.

Molly scowled at him, she should have known better than to try and catch him out so soon. "Yes, well, that's what I'm so happy about."

"And think of it this way mum," George grinned. "Because they're a bit older, they probably won't wait as long to get married."

Molly's eyes twinkled, beaming at the pair. Hermione forced a smile, waiting for the woman to get back to her breakfast before leaning across Fred to hiss at George. "I swear, if you don't shut up, your own girlfriend will end up sat at this table in less than ten minutes!"

"I don't have a girlfriend," George scoffed back under his breath.

"There is a woman in your bed as we speak Weasley," Hermione growled softly. "If you don't want her to be your girlfriend, stop bloody talking!"

"How exactly are you going to make her my girlfriend," he sniggered.

"By telling your mother that she's there," Hermione snapped.

George's face dropped and he went a little pale. "Shutting up."

Hermione sat back up, satisfied that she'd threatened George sufficiently. Fred was looking at her with a smirk, having heard the whole thing.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?" he asked, loud enough for the table to hear him.

This time Hermione did choke.

Fred chuckled and slapped her back a few times, handing her his glass of water as she managed to regain her breath. "Thanks," she croaked. "You bloody prat," she muttered.

"I'm selling the story," he mumbled under his breath.

Before Hermione could retaliate, the door to the flat opened and Ginny walked in, several coffees in her hand and a few carrier bags. Harry trailed in behind her, also adorned by coffee cups and baked goods.

"Morning!" Ginny called brightly. "I see you lazily lot finally managed to stir. You were all still sparko when we left this morning." She wondered into the kitchen before seeing her mother. "Mum?! What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?!" Molly screeched before hurling headlong into an angry rant about girls who don't message their mothers to let them know if they're safe.

"You lot scare me," Hermione mumbled to Fred.

"What? Why?" He frowned, looking at her curiously.

"You're so bloody believable," she whispered. "Seriously, it's scary."

"We're only like it with mum," he said. "She's just so overprotective and over reacts to everything. It's easier to keep her in the dark about some stuff."

They turned back to the conversation between Molly and Ginny, the former calming down somewhat now that she knew her daughter was safe.

"I'm sorry mum, I really didn't mean to make you panic," Ginny said, and Hermione could tell her best friend was being sincere. The Weasley children weren't cruel, they just liked a little more freedom than they got from their mother. "Harry and I just felt like a walk when we woke up-"

"Did you wake up together?" Molly suddenly asked.

"Uh, what?" Ginny stumbled, caught off guard.

"Did your brothers let you stay in the same room? The same bed?!" Molly asked tersely.

"We were all bunched up in the front room together!" Ginny cried as Harry went pale and shrunk backwards.

"Not all of you!" Molly argued. "Hermione was in bed with Fred, so how am I supposed to know you weren't snuggled up to Harry somewhere else in this house?"

"Hermione was what?!" Ginny screeched.

"Mum knows Gin," Fred said, as causally as he could whilst glaring daggers at his sister. "About me and Hermione."

"How?" Ginny asked, saying the first thing that came to mind while she tried to process what was going on.

"She found us in bed together," Hermione mumbled, her cheeks getting hotter and hotter.

"She did?" Ginny said, looking at Fred since Hermione was staring hard at the table.

"Yes, she did," Fred grumbled. "Woke us up with a proper shout too."

"Well she was bound to find out sooner or later," Ginny sighed, regaining her senses before coming to sit at the table. She dragged a dazed Harry with her, who'd very early on learnt to just go with it and ask questions later when the Matriarch was nowhere in ear shot. "It's not like you're particularly subtle around each other," Ginny chuckled, grabbing a few bits to put on her plate.

"How long have the two of you been dating?" Molly asked the pair of them.

"Uh, well, about six months," Fred said, earning him a few astounded looks from around the table.

"Six months?!" Molly cried. "Why on earth have you not introduced us to her as your girlfriend?"

"Because you already know her?" Fred offered.

"It hasn't really been six months either mum," George cut in, rolling his eyes at his idiot brother. "They've been seeing each other on and off for about six months. They've only been official for about two."

"Oh," Molly calmed slightly, a little irritated that George had come to his twin's rescue though. Honestly, Fred could be such a melon sometimes. "What took you so long to make it official then?"

"Timing was off," Fred said with a shrug.

"So what made the timing right two months ago?" Molly asked.

"Well, Granger flashed me and I suddenly stopped being able to make any more excuses," Fred sniggered, watching his mother's cheeks darken.

"Fred!" Hermione shrieked, glaring hotly at him as she smacked his shoulder. "Why would you say that?!"

"Because it's the truth! You did flash me." He grinned mischievously at her, waiting for a reply.

"And that was enough to make you want me as your girlfriend?" she scoffed, her cheeks flaming.

"Honey, that was enough to make me want you as my wife," he chuckled.

Hermione choked again.

"Well, I best be leaving you lot to it," Molly sighed, standing up as Hermione managed to regain her breath for the second time. She narrowed her eyes at the new couple, contemplating how long it might take her to get them to break their charade. Sunday after next was going to be an interesting dinner, that was for sure.

The group all stood up to say their proper goodbyes, hugging Molly as she left and thanking her for the delicious food she'd cooked.

"See you on Sunday week Hermione, and you Harry," she called.

"Me?!" Harry squeaked.

"Yes dear, might as well start now, you are dating my daughter after all," she laughed as she shut the door.

No sooner had Hermione heard the click, she'd swung round to face Fred.

"I am going to strangle you!" she screeched, launching herself at him as he jumped up out of his seat.

"Now dear, let's not get too feisty this time in the morning," he grinned. "The BDSM stuff should really be kept to the bedroom."

"Fred Weasley!" Hermione yelled at him, chasing him into the lounge and across the sofas.

"Yes dear?" He laughed, dodging her with ease.

"Why would you tell your mother I flashed you?!" she screamed.

"Because you did and now you don't have to lie," he said, as though it were obvious.

"I never wanted to tell the absolute truth about that!" she shrieked, finally catching him and sending them both tumbling down onto the sofa. "And why would you say anything about it making you want me as your wife?!" she growled, straddling him so she could smack him round the head with a couple of cushions.

"Because you're fucking hot Hermione!" Fred yelled as she continued to pound the cushions into his head. His words were enough to cause her to pause for a fraction of a second, enabling Fred to grab her by her wrists and roll them (off the sofa), effectively switching positions.

"Get off me!" Hermione snapped, her cheeks red and her eyes filled with tears.

"No, not until you calm down," Fred huffed, pining her arms above her head.

"Fred-"

"I'm not lying to you, you crazy woman," he said, his tone hard but his eyes soft. "You asked why I said it, and it's because it was true."

"Now that is ridiculous!" she scoffed, squirming beneath Fred. In their fight, the shirt she was wearing had risen up above her hips and was halfway up her stomach. The pyjama bottoms he'd lent her were big and baggy, slipping down to the lowest part of her hips as she'd run around the room after him. Fred was trying his hardest not to notice but coupled with her blissful ignorance he failed miserably.

"Hermione, trust me when I tell you, coming home to your body every night would not be a great shame," Fred said, trailing his eyes down her. "And that was definitely something that flashed through my head when you flashed me." He winked at her as he flicked his eyes back to hers.

Hermione looked down at herself and blushed even brighter. She'd worn black lace knickers last night, something she rarely did but donned at the last minute just in case. They were now practically on show for all to see, as was the whole of her midriff. Fred still had her hands pinned above her head, which also meant that he had to lean over her if he wanted to maintain his grip, and apparently he did. Hermione felt her body tremble, her senses invaded by all that was Fred. She could practically feel the heat radiating off him. Fred seemed to sense the shift in the air between them, their eyes meeting as hers grew wide and his darkened with desire.

"Uh, guys?" George coughed from a few feet away. He smirked as the pair of them seemed to snap out of their bubble and flick their gazes straight to him.

"Are you supposed to be faking a relationship or are you really boyfriend girlfriend?" Ginny asked, staring at them curiously.

"Bit of both," Fred said, getting off the girl beneath him and helping her to her feet.

"A bit of both?" Ginny frowned.

"Well, yeah," Hermione mumbled. "The press tail your brothers too often for us to get away with playing your mother the fool. But we aren't really up for a romantic relationship."

"Think of it like this," Fred said. "We are in a committed, platonic relationship for the time being."

Several of the group snorted.

"Boy, if that's what you call platonic I'd love to see what romantic looks like," George sniggered.

"Shut up George," Hermione snapped, glaring irritably at him.

"My brother just told you that you were fucking hot and he wouldn't mind it all that much if you ended up being his wife!" George cried, astounded that the pair were still trying to act so cool.

"He didn't mean it the way your making it sound," Hermione huffed.

"His revelation was followed by the two of you eye-fucking each other, while he pinned you to the floor." Ginny folded her arms and stared them both down.

"I can admit I find her attractive," Fred said with a shrug. "It's doesn't mean I want to start a real relationship."

"Exactly!" Hermione cried. "Finding someone hot does not necessarily mean you want to date them."

"You think I'm hot?" Fred smirked at her, giving her a sideways glance.

"You know you're hot," she muttered.

"And you don't think maybe you should go for this, for real?" Katie asked, staring incredulously at them.

"No!" They both cried quickly.

"We drive each other mental!" Fred said.

"We might be mutually attracted to each other, but other than that, we'd be a complete disaster," Hermione said.

"Well, good luck then. Because that mutual attraction is going to come back and bite you both in the arse while you're playing this game," Angelina said, raising her eyebrows at them.

"How will it?" Fred scoffed. "We'll just make a pact, no pda unless absolutely necessary to convince another third party."

"That's good with me," Hermione said with a nod.

"You two are screwed," Ginny laughed. "Both literally and figuratively, at least you will be..."

"Ginny!" Hermione squeaked, growing red at her insinuation.

"It's the truth," Ginny said. "At some point during this little charade you'll end up in bed for less than innocent reasons, and then the whole thing will fall apart."

"You're being ridiculous Gin," Fred said with a shake of his head.

"If we're being ridiculous, you won't mind if we place a few bets on it, will you?" George grinned.

"Knock yourselves out," Fred huffed, stalking back towards the kitchen. Hermione followed him and the rest of them began making bets as to how long they'd last without ending up in bed.

 **That's it for this one so far. I won't say it's over, I may come back to it, but definitely not in the near future. If anyone feels strongly enough about it, feel free to adopt it and continue the story because I was at a loss after this and had no idea where I was going. Again, I'm sorry for hiatus-ing this fic, but I really feel like that's where I am with it. They'll be a new story up within a few weeks that's similar to this one, but not AU. It's set in the twins last year at Hogwarts and it's not Molly they're trying to dupe, it's Umbridge. It's called Rebel with a Cause.**


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